Astral Thoughts:

I am a student once again.  I sign-up for a three-part course:  surgery, radiation and chemotherapy.

To prepare for the first class, I study introspectively.  I am ready.  It will be a ritual, a rite of passage that will give me a new way of seeing.

The doctors speak of the “bed.” I hear them say, “…the tumor bed,” “… the tumor is the size of a lime…”  In the middle of the lecture, I am awakened.  I am between a coma and a dream state.

The next quarter, I have a 6:30 a.m. class Monday through Friday.  I lay on a table before the  city awakens and my technician places a white mask over my head, molded to my face.  It is clamped down over my face to the table to keep my head in place.  There are black crosses encircled on the mask to indicate the “entry points” for the silent, invisible radiation beams.

The fatigue intensifies.

Spring break comes at a perfect time to allow me to regain my strength before the last part of this curriculum.

The final class begins.

It is 3:00 a.m. and I lay on the bathroom floor next to the toilet.  I pray that this will pass soon and visualize the strength of a warrior waving a sword.

It is time for exams again and once again, I hope that I will not be graded.  If there is no sign of a tumor, there will be no grade.

I receive the highest score in my class.